Squirrel Shenanigans November 10, 2009

I work on a college campus that has more than its fair share of squirrels wandering about. The great thing about our squirrels is that they have been almost humanized by the constant flow of student foot-traffic.

Today I was walking across campus (half-following a particular squirrel), when he darted across the library lawn and quickly climbed up one of the few remaining large trees on campus. When I walked under this tree on my way back to the Student Union, an acorn hit me on the top of the head. I quickly looked up to see what was making all the noise above me…

That silly squirrel was looking right at me and laughing. It sounded a lot like the video, but not entirely. Nevertheless, my coworkers thought I was crazy when I told them about the squirrelly shenanigans!

Dangerous Devotions November 10, 2009

On Wednesday nights, I team-teach 6th grade Bible study at church. We’re doing a book called “Dangerous Devotions for Guys,” which is pretty cool. Each lesson is somewhat dangerous (but in a fairly calculated way), which gets the kids really excited about whatever that night’s activity will be. It was working out quite nicely until a couple of weeks ago when we tried the lesson titled, “Puking Pumpkin.” We had built up this particular lesson for weeks talking about how cool it was going to be to have our pumpkin (which we carved the previous week) puke out this lime green foamy stuff (a combination of Potassium Iodide, 30% Hcl, liquid dish soap, water and food coloring).

I know I mentioned that the chemical reaction was supposed to produce foamy puke-like ooze pouring from the pumpkin’s mouth. So, imagine my disgust when the reaction we got was more like a pink smoky concoction. Oh…and it smelled worse than the worst stink bomb the junior high boys ever set off at a pep rally or class assembly.

And when it came down to it, we only had enough liquid to produce this puking reaction…

Yeah, so apparently, when the directions say you need 30% Hcl which you can purchase from a science store online, you shouldn’t improvise with pool shock chemicals that have Hcl in them. Lesson learned. Thank you!

Promises & Excuses November 9, 2009

I promise I’ll have something better for you tomorrow, Internet. I’m tired, my feet hurt from all the walking I’ve done over the past two days, my neck feels like it just might snap, and I don’t feel like being my normal chipper self tonight. Sorry.

If you have nothing better to do, why don’t you check out my two newest guilty pleasures:

• Awkward Family Photos
• People of Wal-Mart

So, my only question to you, Internet, is this…is it wrong for me to want to post photos on these sites (so badly that I now take my camera with me every time I go to Wal-Mart)?

Hero Day November 8, 2009

So today at my alma mater’s football game, we celebrated Hero Day…a chance to thank members of the Army who will be shipping out on Tuesday to serve our country in Iraq.

You would have thought the football team was running onto the field to see and hear the cheering fans showing their support as the brave men and women entered the field.

Then our football came out and immediately embraced the service men and women in the endzone. It was quite moving to see such a display of gratitude and respect.

Of course I’m sad to report that we lost the game today. But for that five minutes we spent honoring our troops, we were all winners.

Does She Remember? November 6, 2009

I found this today, and it made me think of you. Do you remember it?

So my Huckafriend and I had this tradition back in college. Any time either of us went on a trip (no matter how insignificant), the trip goer always bought a cheap, snappy trinket from whatever place she had visited. Most of the time there was a rule (her rule of course, because I would never have been against nicer things) that the item could not cost more than $2. This, of course, meant that the gifts were sometimes quite inventive.

I remember several of the trinkets I was given…the gem you see above was from a trip to Gulf Shores that I couldn’t go on. Then there was the neon yellow plastic change purse from somewhere exotic (actually I don’t remember where that one came from), a vinyl change purse with the Chicago skyline (that I can only assume came from Chicago). Really…and to think at the time I was glad I didn’t wind up with the nail clippers (of course at that time I still didn’t do my own nails, so the clippers would have been of no use to me).

The cool thing about these trinkets is that they were never about getting something…never about trying to impress…never about earning respect. The trinkets were simply a gesture of friendship…a little something to let the other person know you were thinking about them.

I think we’ll have to revive this tradition, because I really miss it. And I think there are some pretty cool things I could come up with from some of the places I pass through on the way to the Huckafriend’s house.

By the way, I only remember one of the trinkets I ever brought you from a trip, and it is the set of stolen chopsticks from the restaurant in San Francisco. I kinda feel bad about stealing the chopsticks, but I still have my set proudly displayed on my bookshelf at work, so I obviously don’t feel that badly about it.

I hope my Huckafriend enjoyed the stroll down memory lane.

Just Wondering… November 6, 2009

Maybe you’ve never experienced this, but I have. I’d like to know how I should feel about it. I suppose I’m happy that my church is growing, but I miss the feeling of home my church once had.

See, I grew up in my church…like I started attending services in late November of 1980 (the month and year I was born). I’ve only been away from my church for 3 years of my life (the three years I spent as a youth minister at another church a couple hours away). Now I’m back there. It should feel like home. But it doesn’t so much anymore.

Nothing is the same. While I’m not a traditionalist by any stretch of the imagination, I do long for things to be somewhat similar to the way I remember them. I miss having our annual back to school cookout and picnic at a local park/lake. We played loads of sand volleyball, dads fished with their kids, grandparents watched grandkids fly kites, we ate our fill and we created community…community like we don’t have anymore. Since we have grown so much, we have 5 Sunday morning services to accommodate all the people. I never see 3/4 of those people. Our paths don’t cross. I miss our annual Hanging of the Greens celebration complete with a church-wide supper to benefit youth mission trips. I miss the togetherness we experienced as each table offered their own rendition of one of the 12 Days of Christmas for the sake of good-natured competition. I miss the church home I always took for granted. I regretfully admit that I wasn’t always excited about attending the church-wide events. But now that they are gone, I miss them.

Something else that I miss is knowing everyone. We always have a couple of minutes within our worship service set aside for greeting each other. Just last Sunday, a nice man in his mid-to-late-40s came smiling toward me. I teach his daughter in Sunday School once per month and see them all the time in church. He said, “Are you new here?” I said, “No.” He said, “My family and I’ve been coming here for three years.” He said it like he owned it…like it was some sort of badge. Would it have been rude for me to say, “Oh, that’s nice. I’ve been coming here for almost 29 years.” I bit my tongue. I know he wasn’t trying to be an ass, but it rubbed me the wrong way. Maybe I was overly hormonal…whatever. I shook his hand and moved on. But then he was introduced as the new president of the administrative board at church, and my piss-poor attitude toward the man popped back into my head. I should be happy that he has jumped in to serve the church, but I’m not seeing a lot of service going on in my church these days.

Way back when my church was mission-minded. Our youth served others. We were better for it. Now our youth go on fun trips to camps at the beach. That’s fine. They’re even raising money for water wells in Kenya. That’s fine. But they aren’t getting their hands dirty serving others. They are simply throwing their parents’ money at a problem. This is how their parents are raising them…to throw money at problems, but not to offer their services.

When I joined the United Methodist Church, I promised to serve it with my prayers, presence, gifts and service (we’ve since added witness). I meant it. I want others to mean it too! When you leave out part of that puzzle, you miss out on your own growth.

Perhaps the smiling man who will be taking over our administrative board doesn’t understand the commitment that we UMs have made. Maybe the transplants are the reason my church isn’t mission-minded anymore.

Or maybe I’m reading too much into all this and should just quietly bite my tongue.

Souls, Personality and Animals November 5, 2009

Tonight at church (after teaching 6th grade Bible study), several church staff members and a friend and I were talking about pets and somehow wandered into a discussion on whether or not we thought animals would be in heaven.

A particular pastor at our church (but not one who was there for the discussion) once told a group of kids that animals didn’t have souls, so they couldn’t possibly be in heaven.

We (the ones having the discussion tonight) all felt very strongly that animals do in fact go to heaven. There is scriptural evidence that animals are present in heaven. All creatures were created for the glory of God. Beyond that, (not that I want to bring up Revelation…) there are at least 5 horses present for Christ’s return. Plus, Romans 8:19 says, “For all creation is waiting eagerly for that future day when God will reveal who his children really are.”

So…first off, I can’t believe a pastor would ever tell a room full of children that their pets weren’t going to be in heaven. You just don’t go there. Children have to remain hopeful (and hopefully childlike) if they are to grow into a childlike faith. If we crush their innocent beliefs of the Kingdom that we (as adults) can’t quite comprehend, then we have done more to harm their growing faith than to nurture it.

Perhaps if more of us still held onto our childhood visions of what heaven is like, we would be better for it.

Secondly, I like that the scriptures back up my theory of animals in heaven, because I can’t imagine a heaven void of puppies…lots of sweet and cuddly dachshunds. I do, however, hope that there is a lack of snakes, spiders and mosquitoes.

I also think that my three dachshunds definitely have souls and unique personalities. Dach knows he is the boss of us. He’s a bit egocentric, but all in all he’s a good dog. He comforts you when you are sick or crying, and he knows when he has done something wrong. Chip is childlike and innocent. He is a protector. If he doesn’t know someone who enters a room, his one and only job is to guard his family. Then there’s Archie. He’s sweet, a bit needy, and content. He understands our bond and really can’t stand when I’m not by his side. He is a master cuddler, and wants nothing more than to share his love with anyone who will let him. In my college philosophy class nearly ten years ago, my professor said that if one has a personality than one has a soul. If his theory is correct, then my three dachshunds definitely have souls, because they each have their own distinct personalities.

What do you think?

Medical Minute November 3, 2009

Okay, so any of you who follow my blog (or who know me personally – who am I kidding you’re all one in the same!) know that I have had some pretty intense medical issues throughout 2009.

Here’s a Reader’s Digest version of the past 6 months:

I had severe headaches, neck/shoulder pain and double vision. My family practice doctor (who is also a family friend) freaked out and sent me to a neurologist. Apparently you don’t play around with headaches. I visited the neurologist, who ordered a CT of my brain and started me on Topamax for the migraines he thought I was having. My jaws were also very sore (from loads of TMJ problems), so I also consulted my dentist who recommended a specialist in another city. My family practice doctor also recommended that I see my optometrist to see if anything had changed with my eyes to cause the headaches and double vision.

I went to the optometrist. My vision was slightly different, though not significantly. However, because the double vision had increased since my last visit, my optometrist adjusted the prism prescription in my lenses. They didn’t really help, and I still had the double vision.

I visited the TMJ guy, who said I had Occipital Atlas Dysfunction (coupled with my TMJ), which was causing the neck pain (and perhaps even the headaches and double vision). He also knew he could fix the TMJ, so I was fitted with pivot splints (which have been working…thankfully).

Meanwhile back at the ranch, my neurologist got the results to my CT scan and said that I was fine. That’s nice. But I wasn’t fine. I was still in pain. I was having frequent headaches and my neck and shoulders were killing me. So the neurologist ordered another CT (this time with contrast). Whatever…that one didn’t find anything either. So he ordered an MRI of my brain. Still nothing. So he ordered an MRI with some sort of dye. Still nothing. He said he was convinced it was migraines. I was not convinced. I wasn’t light sensitive, and noise didn’t bother me. I just hurt!

Throughout all of this I had been doing physical therapy. The physical therapists were funny, but not too helpful.

4-5 months after my first visit with the neurologist, I finally convinced him that I was having neck/shoulder pain that wasn’t associated with my brain. I begged for him to check it out (thinking he’d order an MRI). He ordered a CT of my cervical spine, which showed bone spurs. He sent me to a pain management specialist.

I visited the pain management specialist. He was very strange. That’s another blog entry entirely. He asked why the neurologist only ordered a CT when an MRI would have shown the discs more clearly. Like I’d know the answer to that! Anyway, he ordered an MRI of my cervical spine, which showed herniated discs…no wonder my neck and shoulders have been hurting so badly.

The pain management guy said I should try an epidural. I did. I did NOT enjoy it, nor did I enjoy the fact that four nurses were holding me down while he inserted the big, scary needle into my neck. I also rather hated the fact that he said, “Oh, shit” at one point during the procedure. Like I wasn’t freaked out enough by the fact that four people were holding me down while a very strange doctor inserted a needle into my neck!

I was nearly guaranteed that the epidural would “work.” It did not. The only thing it succeeded in doing was making my right hand/arm numb and tingly.

Right. So, the pain management specialist referred me to a neurosurgeon, because apparently there’s nothing else they can do for the neck as far as pain management is concerned. The minimally invasive surgical procedures they can do for the lower back haven’t been approved yet for the neck. Go figure.

So, my appointment with the neurosurgeon isn’t until December 17th. I’ve tried to get in sooner, but that is the first available appointment until March at this point.

Nevertheless, today I went back to my TMJ specialist for my monthly appointment. Usually the appointment entails getting my pivot splints adjusted, letting the doctor feel around on the joints, opening my mouth repeatedly and this really cool procedure that makes my headaches disappear immediately. He pulls on my head to stretch my neck. It feels a bit awkward, but makes the pain go away after a couple rounds. Today, however, he wouldn’t do the stretch, because he was afraid to do anything to my neck since he knew about the herniated discs. Damn. So now I have neck/shoulder pain and a nagging headache.

I’m taking muscle relaxers, but I can’t work and take them, so I endure the pain all day until I get home. It sucks, but it is my routine.

Hopefully I can get some relief at some point. I’m considering seeing a chiropractor, but I’m not sure that’s what I need. Ugh!

Excuse #1 November 3, 2009

Dang! I just knew I’d be able to keep up with the whole post a day thing. However, my wireless has been on the fritz tonight, and I’m just now back online. So I swear this counts as November 2…really! I’ll even have a post for November 3.

 

Is it too early to put up the Christmas tree this weekend? I already put one up in my office at work, and I already put my smaller tree up in my bedroom. But when should the main tree in the living room appear?

 

Also, Tuesday (like later this morning) I’m headed to my TMJ specialist. Details of that visit will follow. I’ll also detail the pain progression and how things are looking at this point as far as my health is concerned. So, I guess you’re in for a treat tomorrow (or later today).

My Three Shunds (pronounced “Sons”) November 1, 2009

I have three dachshunds…precious dachshunds.

The thing is…they all have slight idiosyncrasies. There’s Dach – the oldest – who thinks he is the king of the house…seriously. He is definitely the alpha male. He prances around like he owns the place. He growls at you if you tell him “no.” Then there’s Chipper – the middle child – who is a bit special…like ed. Really…he is. He’s cute, but he just doesn’t quite get the whole bonding thing (except with my little brother who is Chipper’s idol). He’s a man’s man (er…dog). Then there’s my baby Archie – the rescued baby boy – who is just now beginning to understand that he has a family who loves him. He is a precious, bouncing ball of energy, and is curious about everything.

The one thing they all have in common…they all hate costumes.

But aren’t they precious?