I teach children’s Sunday School at my church. We do Rotation Sunday School, so any given week, I may be working with kids ranging in age from 1st grade to 5th grade (I think that’s about 6-11-ish).
Well, kids say and do the funniest things.
A few weeks ago, I had first grade. My assistant (who isn’t quite as well-versed in the Bible as a Sunday School teacher should be) read the wrong passage. We were supposed to be reading 1 John 4:7-21. She read John 4:7-21, which is about the woman at the well.
Verse 16 said this: ”He told her, ‘Go, call your husband and come back.’”
An inquisitive first grader raised his hand. I politely called on the young boy, who promptly asked, “Did they have satellites back then?”
I smirked, and then said, “No, sweetie, we didn’t have satellites until not too long ago.”
Then he raised his hand again and asked, “Then why did Jesus tell her to call her husband? How was she going to call him without a cell phone?”
At that point I got it. It wasn’t a random question. The child heard verse 16 and was a bit confused. I quickly explained that cell phones were actually fairly new in the grand scheme of things, and that there was a time in MY lifetime when there were no cell phones. Three of my first graders pulled cell phones out of their pockets, and proceeded to explain how they just couldn’t live without them. I was shocked.
I quickly changed the subject and went back to 1 John 4:7-21 (the correct passage for our lesson), which was all about love. How we went from woman at the well to love is beyond me…but we did.
Then last week, I had fourth grade. They are always a hoot, because they think they’re funny (most really aren’t), but they wind up being funny in a different way.
We had the same lesson…1 John 4:7-21…all about love…I explained that God wants us to love everyone, and that “brother” refers to all our brothers and sisters in Christ…not just our familial brother. I again explained that it would be difficult to love God without loving each other…that we can’t possibly love a God we can’t see if we don’t love people who we can see. I was rounding out my little spiel on love, when a little boy asked me if people who loved God went to heaven.
I said, “Yes,” thinking that would be sufficient for fourth graders.
Boy, was I wrong.
The young boy then said, “What about murder and suicide. Does God love that? Can those people go to heaven?”
Realizing that he had an uncle who had committed suicide, I stepped lightly over this subject and said, “Well, God loves everyone. Everyone. He doesn’t love murder and suicide, but He never stops loving His people…everyone. And we’re told in the Bible that we are forgiven of our sins, so I guess my answer to that question is, yes.”
I suppose that was sufficient. I sure hope so. That was kinda heavy for fourth grade.
FLASHBACK TO LAST SPRING…
On another occasion, I had a fourth grader try to bribe me with $74 not to read a Bible story on a certain Sunday morning. I promptly rejected his bribe. But, seriously…the kid pulled out $74 from his wallet. He had more money on him than I had on me. That’s nuts! What kind of parent sends their kid around town with that kind of money?
What I wish I would have done was “accept” his bribe, still read from the Bible, then give the money back to his mother when she came to get him from Sunday School and tell her what he did. I wish I had thought of that when it happened. I think she would have been mortified.
I’ll keep you posted as more kids say and do funny/quirky things.
