Stealing Her Thunder November 18, 2009

I feel I must apologize to all my fellow Huckablog readers in advance for stealing her thunder from yesterday/today’s cutaclysm.

I’ve had brow woes before (that I’ve even previously mentioned here), but none have quite rivaled what I’m going through now. If I weren’t so embarrassed, I’d post a picture.

A little over a month ago, I went to get my brows waxed (a normal procedure I endure every 3-4 weeks). Lee, the guy who normally waxes my brows (and does a great job at it) was on vacation, so I cheated on him and went to the mall. Look…the brows were HORRIBLE!!! Trust me. They were that bad!

Needless to say, I felt somewhat uneasy sitting in the chair in the national chain hair establishment…though I admit I’m not sure why.

A nice Asian lady who didn’t speak much English (which is another post entirely) said she could wax them, and I hesitantly leaned back and let her do her job.

When I stood up, I was horrified! She might as well have shaved them. I could have done a better job blindfolded. They were that bad! She had waxed them off a good 1/4 – 1/2 inch inside my eye. Seriously! Plus, she had given them a really funky angle.

I admit that I haven’t always had perfect brows…in fact, I’ve sported some pseudo-Groucho and near-unibrow variations in the past. But the fact remains that I have always had a pretty good shape to my brows. They were arched nicely, had a normal shape to them and were full…so full in fact that anyone who ever waxed them usually wound up trimming them as well.

Alright. So I’ve waited over a month to have anything done to them, because I am trying desperately to regain the shape for which Lee and I had worked so hard.

Today I just couldn’t take it anymore. I called to get in with Lee…and he wasn’t there. So I went to a chain store on my lunch hour (a different one of course), and ever-so-slightly-assertively explained to the nice young pregnant lady what I wanted her to do with my ill-shaped brows.

“Just take care of the top and bottom. Do nothing in between the two brows except for just above my nose. I am trying to grow back a botched brow job, and I know they will look funny for a while. I don’t care. Just a little off the top and bottom.”

Proving that not all chain hair establishments are created equally, the nice young pregnant lady (with creepy tattoos) did a fine job of following my instructions.

I still have ill-shaped brows, but they are lighter (and not quite as Groucho-esque).

While I am quite sure the Asian lady who butchered my brows in the first place didn’t do so intentionally, I can’t help but think that I may have been her very first “white” brow wax, because she did the Asian line brow on me.

Oh, and I miss the girl who used to cut my hair (and wax my brows). She knew me (and my crazy family), and she always did whatever the heck she wanted to do with my hair (seriously). If I told her I wanted a particular style, she’d look at me for a minute and say, “No guarantees. I only do what will look good on you!” I haven’t gone to her since I moved back home, because I have no idea where she works now. She’s one of those certified salon hoppers, so you have to know her well to know where she is working from year to year, but it is so worth staying on her “list,” because she is seriously the best ever!!!

So, if you’re reading this, Kirsten…I miss your haircuts and brow waxes and I wish I knew where you were working these days. I’d schedule an appointment ASAP for you to shape up the mess of shagginess on top of my head. Okay…thanks. Bye.

Awkward Turtle November 17, 2009

Let me lay this out for you.

I have a coworker (we’ll call her Rachel)…and I work at a university, so we also have student workers (we’ll call them Chelsea, William and Luke).

This would all be fine…

But Rachel lives down the street from Chelsea, and they have become quite good friends. I should mention here that Rachel is my age (28), and Chelsea is 21…not that age matters in friendship, but Rachel is also Chelsea’s boss…sort of.

Rewind a couple of weeks.

Rachel and Luke went shopping for lingerie for Rachel…like sexy lingerie. Is that weird. Luke is like 21 too…I think that’s weird. Did I mention that Rachel is married and has a 3-year-old?

Then a couple nights later, Chelsea took a bunch of nearly nude photos of Rachel to give to her husband for their anniversary. Is that weird? Again…I think so.

Then last weekend, Rachel hung out with William until like 3 a.m. watching movies and stuff at William’s apartment. Is that weird? I still think it is.

What do you think? Do you think this blurs the lines between coworker and subordinate…student and mentor…whatever? Is it even acceptable in a workplace at all, or could it be considered sexual harassment?

5 Things You May Not Know November 16, 2009

1. My mom cried when Priscilla married Elvis (for days), because she was convinced (as a second grader) that she was the one who would win his heart.

2. I treat my dogs like little people…and they have voices that match their personalities.

3. I am a severe procrastinator…which is why I am blogging now instead of working on the articles that are all due on Friday.

4. My mom and I act more like sisters than mother-daughter…we fight, we shop together, we wear each others’ clothes, we read the same trashy novels, we do all sorts of things together. Sometimes this is really cool, but sometimes when we fight, I HATE IT!!! And we always end up crying.

5. I watch “Hannah Montana” and other equally childish television programming.

Tired and I Don’t Feel Like Posting November 16, 2009

So apparently the prescription I filled the other day is working…um sort of. The drugs make me very sleepy…so much so that I forget that I’m trying to post every single day for a month. Nevertheless, my neck still hurts. Seriously, I promise you’ll get a better post tomorrow, but I just am not feeling it tonight. Sorry.

Divine Intervention November 14, 2009

I’ve always known that God works in mysterious ways, but to see some of God’s handiwork play out in real time is incredible.

See, for the past few months, I’ve been somewhat unhappy because I can’t find a place to plug myself in using my time and talents…you know like volunteering.

Sure, I teach Sunday School every Sunday morning, and I teach Bible study on Wednesday nights. I feel like I do enough at church, but I just don’t feel plugged into my community…or any other community around me (except for the one week per summer I spend at a youth mission camp).

Needless to say, my church’s youth group doesn’t do any hands-on mission work (though they are raising money for water in Kenya – noble, but not dirty-hands type of work). And while there are several opportunities for service with adult groups at church, most of those are in foreign countries…not in our backyard.

So I’ve been praying for a way to plug in right in my own community.

Enter my boss and her trusty sidekick.

Last week we were having a huge event at the local university (the one I work at), and my boss and her trusty sidekick were down the street getting ice. A woman approached them asking them a multitude of questions…and trust me when I say that my boss was in a huge hurry. We had 300+ hungry folks quickly approaching ready for food and drinks (the ones that were supposed to be iced down with the ice).

Anyway, it turns out that the woman who approached my coworkers was from the Habitat for Humanity build going on down the street from our university. She wondered if our university would be willing to supply some volunteers a few Saturdays.

So the story made its rounds during our weekly staff meetings, and we wound up making Habitat for Humanity an office project.

My boss had complained about how long the stoplight was last Saturday making them wait and wait and wait and wait. But the truth is that if they hadn’t had to wait so long, then the woman wouldn’t have been there at just the right time to answer my prayers.

It goes beyond that. See, Habitat for Humanity needed volunteers in a bad way, and God intervened solving two problems (my need for a service project…and HfH’s need for volunteers).

So today I helped out with Habitat for Humanity (and then took a long nap).

Oh, and God supplied us with the perfect day for building a house…sunny and warmish cool perfection!

Bedding on it November 13, 2009

Sorry folks…I’m already in bed, and I am not getting out to do a post. so here is your post. Drugs are making me very sleepy!

Desperation November 12, 2009

I went in a local bookstore this afternoon looking for a book to combat my writer’s block. I must have been feeling overly desperate as I walked through the bookstore…both desperate to end my writer’s block and desperate for other things.

What I walked out with (instead of the writer’s block combatant) is “1001 Ways to Meet Mr. Right” by Elizabeth Shimer Bowers.

Here are five of her ideas chosen at random:

1. Out with your brother
2. Nearby town
3. Car maintenance seminar
4. Supermarket (see…I told you my toothpaste aisle plan could work!)
5. Community theatre

Do you guys think I’m terribly desperate for purchasing a book to state the obvious ways I could meet “Mr. Right,” or is it okay that I bought the book? Does it make it any less desperate sounding if I tell you the book was on the bargain rack for $2.99, or does that make it sound like I’m even more desperate?

Shot in the Head November 12, 2009

Today I bit the bullet and went to the doctor. I had been trying to hold out for my December 17th appointment with the neurosurgeon, but the headache I’ve had constantly for the last 4 weeks has taken its toll. So I went to the doctor. I got a shot in the head…and I did not enjoy it. Plus, after waiting the 30 minutes before I was allowed to leave, I already knew it wasn’t going to work. Anyway…I guess it was worth a try! So, he sent me on my merry way with my prescription, and then I headed to church to teach 6th grade Bible study. Needless to say, I missed getting to the pharmacy before they closed, so I don’t have my feel-good pills tonight. I guess that will wait until tomorrow!

Sorry for such a crappy post…maybe tomorrow’s will be better.

Squirrel Shenanigans November 10, 2009

I work on a college campus that has more than its fair share of squirrels wandering about. The great thing about our squirrels is that they have been almost humanized by the constant flow of student foot-traffic.

Today I was walking across campus (half-following a particular squirrel), when he darted across the library lawn and quickly climbed up one of the few remaining large trees on campus. When I walked under this tree on my way back to the Student Union, an acorn hit me on the top of the head. I quickly looked up to see what was making all the noise above me…

That silly squirrel was looking right at me and laughing. It sounded a lot like the video, but not entirely. Nevertheless, my coworkers thought I was crazy when I told them about the squirrelly shenanigans!

Dangerous Devotions November 10, 2009

On Wednesday nights, I team-teach 6th grade Bible study at church. We’re doing a book called “Dangerous Devotions for Guys,” which is pretty cool. Each lesson is somewhat dangerous (but in a fairly calculated way), which gets the kids really excited about whatever that night’s activity will be. It was working out quite nicely until a couple of weeks ago when we tried the lesson titled, “Puking Pumpkin.” We had built up this particular lesson for weeks talking about how cool it was going to be to have our pumpkin (which we carved the previous week) puke out this lime green foamy stuff (a combination of Potassium Iodide, 30% Hcl, liquid dish soap, water and food coloring).

I know I mentioned that the chemical reaction was supposed to produce foamy puke-like ooze pouring from the pumpkin’s mouth. So, imagine my disgust when the reaction we got was more like a pink smoky concoction. Oh…and it smelled worse than the worst stink bomb the junior high boys ever set off at a pep rally or class assembly.

And when it came down to it, we only had enough liquid to produce this puking reaction…

Yeah, so apparently, when the directions say you need 30% Hcl which you can purchase from a science store online, you shouldn’t improvise with pool shock chemicals that have Hcl in them. Lesson learned. Thank you!